Today you are probably exhausted, today you are probably stuffed, today you are happy ad today is two days after Christmas. You may not want be wanting to talk to other people but you may be wanted to read these blogs and why not. Today is a very special day because I have just hit 400 blogs and I am so very proud of myself. When I first started this journey I didn’t know what it was going to hold and I certainly didn’t know what path my life would take. 400 blogs ago I was very shy, I was in the wrong mental space and I was very scared of almost anything and everything. You may be surprised to hear this because I am generally a very loud and outgoing person but I only get like that when I am comfortable. It has taken a lot of work not just physically to get where I am today but also mentally too. It has taken a lot of effort from both myself, professionals and from family.
400 blogs ago I was hurting and I had been told to write a diary about my feelings but I also wanted to educate other people, I also wanted to talk to other people about how I am feeling and how they are able to get through issues that they are facing. Not everything is bad and not everything we go though is to harm us-sometimes it is for us to learn through the hardships and to realise the people that will be around us. Over the last 400 blogs there have been many people that have walked out of my life, they do not contact me anymore, they do not call and they do not see me as a friend which is hard. However, I have really learnt about the people I am able to trust and I have learn that for some people we are just to special for them.
There have been times over these 400 blogs that I have wanted to give up, I have wanted to forget about blogging, my friends, my family and those people that care about me but I have come round to the fat that my self worth and self esteem should not come from other people. It should not come from what other people think of me and it should not come from who sticks by me when things get though. It is only natural for some people to walk out of my life and I should not hold that against them but instead focus on myself and love those people more who want to stick by my side. I am thankful for every single person from my best friend, to my siblings, to my in laws, to my parents and my husband.
You know the last few years have been hard but I have kept going, I have kept my faith and I have now written 400 blogs. To say I am proud of myself is something small but I really am. I have come a long way, it has been a long journey and it has been hard but I am out the other side and ready to write more and more blogs for you to read. Sometimes in writing blogs I will need to have a break, there may be times when I am unable to write blogs but I will continue to do them for as long as I am able to do so. Although blogging is hard and it takes its toll on me I would rather write about the issues that I am facing in my life and write them down (and maybe others can learn from them too) than to bottle them up and then eventually blow or get really low.
There will be time when I want to give up, when people walk out of my life and when things get on top of me but I know that I can turn to One who helps me. I am able to turn to the One who can lift m up when I am tired, I can turn to the One who will never leave when others do, I can turn to the One who created me, I can turn to God and He will give me the strength and energy I need when everything gets too much. People may walk away from me, others may not understand me and others may not have time for me but God does and that is what counts.