Blog 141: Sweet Dreams (Not)

Funny Sleepy Pug Dog with gum eye sleep on floor

Do you ever feeling like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Do you ever feel so tired you don’t want to get out of bed? Is your other half keeping you awake with snoring? Are you fed up with getting out of bed early for work? Do you have no energy to do anything? Do you get enough sleep but are still tired? Have you every had low energy? Do you want to do something but are too tired to do so? Have you tried to keep going but are tired? Do you suffer with nightmares? Are you getting enough sleep in a night? Do you have children that wake you up? Are you a naturally tired person? Do you sleep at the wrong time? Do you drink enough water? Have you been to bed late recently? Are you stressed so are tired? Do you have a lot on your plate? Have you got pain that stops you sleeping? Are you worrying about things to come that you can’t rest at night?

All of the above have been said as to why people are tired and why they can’t function in a ‘normal’ way. We all know someone who can sleep all the time but is still tired and we all know someone who hardly sleeps and has so much energy! Somehow children can still be tired but they have energy, whereas when adults are tired all we want is our beds! I am that kind of person who can sleep for hours and hours at a time but still wake up tired. I can do the smallest thing but still be tired, I can see just one person in a day and I will be tired, I can look out the window and I can be tired, I can have a bath and I can be tired, I can read a book and still be tired, I can watch TV and still be tired! When I go to work, well that is a different story all together, I don’t cope and spend most of the the weekend in bed asleep! How does this work and why does it happen to me?

Every night I head to bed like I have run the marathon, I am exhausted, tired and just want to collapse. It takes me ages to get to sleep. Most people it takes about 5-10 minutes but I can still be tossing and turning after an hour. I am so tired but my brain is not ready to sleep. It goes through the day and thinks about all the things that I should have done, all the things I could have done and all the things I need to do tomorrow! I can spend hours just thinking through the day and how it went, how I was feeling, who has annoyed me, what I need to do tomorrow etc etc. Taking ages to get to sleep is not fun and some would be relived when they do finally drift of to a deep sleep and almost have sweet dreams.

But not me, I wake up with nightmares, with sweats that someone is chasing me, someone is hurting me, being in a job that I have left, being with someone I don’t like, being in a situation that scares me, having flashbacks to when my life wasn’t good, to letting someone down, to someone close to me passing away, to me falling and so much more. Most people a dream would be a dream and they would move on but not for me they are so realistic that in the day I have to go through them again to make sure that they aren’t real and no one is hurting me. Sleep is less of a resting period but more of a battle to get through each nightmare. Each dream is different, each night is different but I am in the same bed with the same husband and it should be easy to sleep and get rest but it is far from that.

However, I know however badly I sleep, whatever dreams I have, however bad my nightmares are I will get the rest that I need for each and everyday. God will give me the strength to get through each day and He will help me to know whether they are real or not. God knows how my life is going to unfold and He knows what is going to happen in the future and I am so blessed and grateful to know that He holds the key to the next door and next adventure that I go on. I know that with every night that goes past God will give me the right amount of rest and He will help me to have the energy for the next day.

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