Blog 418: Perfect Love

Sometimes “Love Your Enemy” Means “Love Your Spouse” - Tim Challies

When you first saw your now spouse when did you know it was true love? When did you know that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them? When did you know that nothing would get in the way of loving that other person? There will be times when you will always love your partner but not always like them! There will be times when you find it hard to love, when you find it hard to keep your mouth shut about certain things and when you find it hard to keep on going when the path gets hard. No matter how long you have loved or how you love your partner to you both it will be perfect love. Some people from the outside may want to change your love, they may not understand it but it is how you understand each others love that is important.

The love you have between the two of you will be perfect, there will be times when it is harder than other times and there will be times when you don’t understand other people and their love but as long as your love is strong between you and your partner that is the best thing that can happen to you both. No matter what things happen in life you need to be aware of the things that can happen in life, you need to be aware of the things that could get in the way, you need to be aware of your spouse and the love that you can show them. Love doesn’t have to be something amazing, showing love does not have to be all fireworks but maybe just a little note, maybe just a hug or the washing up done. Showing love to your spouse is something that should be done everyday no matter how you are feeling or what things you have going on.

Your spouse will be the most important person in your life for as long as you live and just like a flower they need to be shown love and appreciation. They will have a different love language to you and so it is important to be able to really understand them and to show them a love that they will understand. It will be different to what you are used to and it will be different to how you show love but showing love to your spouse is important and it is something that should not be given up. For some people showing love my words of affirmation maybe the way that you can show love and this is one of the easiest things to do. When you are doing their lunch for the next day why not include a note in which you love them? Words of affirmation is something that almost everyone wants to hear but the other love languages are a bit harder to work out.

The other love languages are harder to do but just as important to be able to show perfect love to your spouse. You may want to give your spouse a gift, this could be as simple grabbing your wife a bunch of flowers on the way home; you may want to do acts of service, this could be as simple as doing the washing up or running a hot bath for your partner for when they come back from work; you may want to have some physical tough. Some people find this easier to do than other people as they are ok with PDA, they are happy to be physical but other people may want to have space and have physical touch in private. There are certain things that we do better in private and alone then in front of other people.

You may want to give your spouse some quality time, for some people this is easier to do because you could go on a date night. We found that giving quality time to each other was easier when we were living in different houses and so since we have been married we have date day once a month. You could do this as well, we chose the date that we got married and we try to keep that for a date day and if it ends up being on a work day we will have a take away. Sometimes spending quality time together can be as simple as cooking dinner together, talking to each other before going to sleep or just going for a drive. Each of the above is important because then your love can be perfect for your spouse but you need to keep on going even when things are hard and life gets busy. Every time we try and show love we will fail the other person but God is the One who will show us perfect love no matter what we have gone through and whatever life will throw at us.

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