What is PTSD? Post-Traumatic stress disorder is something that is hard to talk about, something hard to diagnose and something hard to get over. It is something that can affect children but also adults and we seem to shy away from talking about it. PTSD is a real thing and being silent is not how it can be made better-we need to learn to talk about our feelings, we need to learn how other people feel and we need to learn how we can help it be better. Whatever trauma we have had in our childhood that can affect us in our adult life and we need to understand what we can do to help ourselves feel better and have a better life.
There are several reason as to why adults can have PTSD and it is important to know what things have happened to mean that we have some PTSD. We could have some attachment issues, we may want to be with our spouse/ partner with us all the time, we may not want to be intimate with our spouse and we may not understand what a real relationship is. This may be attachment trauma. We may not have had parents that were understanding of our emotional needs. I am not saying that most of you have had awful parents it may have been when you were very young and it may have been when you were so small that you don’t remember it. However, it did happen and that could be part of the PTSD that you are having to deal with today.
Imagine this:
My child is running with a stick in the woods and I tell her she needs to:
- slow down
- drop the stick and
- walk
My child doesn’t listen, she falls, unable to catch herself and busts her chin open with the stick. Her chin is ok and she is fine but is emotional distraught. We did nothing wrong, we were there as parents but she didn’t listen and bust her chin open. There are different responses that I could give to her:WTF! I told you not to do that. What is wrong with you? Why don’t you listen?! You need to calm down; you did this to yourself.
- OMG you scared me. Mommy is freaking out. I need a drink to calm down. I swear you’re going to be the death of me.
- You’re fine. The ice is in the freezer I need to get back to brother/father/work.
- You seem ok, but I bet you’re frightened. Let me cuddle you while you catch your breath. Now that you’re feeling better, can we agree that next time listening to mommy would be a good idea?
Do you realise that my child needs the response to the injury as point 4? I need to be calm, nurturing and kind to my child but also addressing the fact that we had told her to calm down. Every parent loves their child more than anything in the world but sometimes they do not know how to deal with emotional situations leading the child to not knowing how to cope and develop an intimate relationship. If parents are not sure how to deal with emotions then children may not be able to do this either hence why they may have PTSD.
It is not something that should be laughed or joked at but it is something that needs to be addressed, it is something that needs to be talked about and when you get into a relationship it is important to talk to your spouse/ partner about it. It is important to put all your feelings on the table and to be honest with the person that you are with. PTSD can be something that can be talked about and something that can be sorted but it takes a lot of time and it takes years to fully open up and talk about it. No matter how you are feeling, no matter who can help you, no matter who you can talk to, no matter who you are in a relationship with there will be people who do not understand what you have and what you will be going through.
Through everything that you have been through, through everything that you will go through God will be there for you, he will be the one that you can turn to at any point in time, he will be the one that understands you, he will be the one that will never let you down. Through life there will be things that you do not understand but God understands and He will help you to keep on going through anything and everything. You may not understand yourself but God does and you can fully rely on Him and His love for you.
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