No matter what you think we all need space, we all need space to think, we all need space to get our thoughts together, we all need space to organise, we all need space to sleep, we all need space to be ourselves. However, we should not have loads of space that we become isolated and alone, we need to have a good support network around us. We have times in our life when we have more people around us than normal, that could be when we go to college or it could be when we have a new child or newly married. We are made to be around other people but we need to bear in mind that even though we are to be with other people and enjoy their company we need, ‘me’ time and we need to make the most of it.
We all know parents who can’t even cook dinner in peace let alone to go to the bathroom on their own. We do not and should not become like this. We need to have time when we are on our own and if that is in the bathroom then have more time to yourself. It will help you now and in the months to come, don’t let all your energy go before your child is older. There will be times when you will be alone and their will be times when you have no one around other than the children but this is a time when you need a good support system around you, you need to rely on family and friends and people that you are able to trust with your thoughts and feelings. To begin with it will be hard but the more you trust them the more time you will be able to have alone.
When someone asks or offers to take your child for an afternoon accept it. This will be the time when you get ‘me’ time even if it is just cleaning, no questions, no ‘why,’ no interruptions but just you and the hoover. It will be strange to begin with but it will be so worth while and you and your children’s relationship with develop more over time because not only will you be excited to see them but they have other news to tell you about their outing rather than what they found outside in the grass! As much as you need time away from them to get you ‘adulthood’ back they need time away from you too, they need time to develop, to grow their social skills, to have people around their own age, to just be children with children. Believe me it will be hard to begin with and you will worry but hand your child over to someone that you fully trust and have things in place that will help you be calm with them out the house.
Some days will be easier than others but it is important wherever you are living that you have a good support network around you. It is hard when you don’t have immediate family around you to help you to have space but build up a good friendship support group. It may be nice to drop your child of with someone else who has a child for a couple of hours and then return the favour at a later date. Looking after children doesn’t have to be expensive and out of this word but instead it should be about giving the parents space that they need to work on the things in their life. Adults are adults and sometimes they just need to do ‘adult’ things. Whether you are an established family unit, a newly married couple, parents with a new baby or single you all need to have space and time to have on your own.
You don’t just need this time to get your thoughts together but you need this time to think about the things coming up, your plans but most importantly to have time with God. It is important to have time with God each day, even if this does mean getting up earlier. It is important to read His word, to dwell on it and to pray over it, it is amazing how God changes you when you make time for Him and to be ready to listen. You can have space from everyone and everything but it is crucial that you do not distance yourself from God as He created you and wants a close relationship with you.