Blog 350: Intimacy differences


Every person you meet, every person you date there will be some intimacy, there will be an attraction that will be had. Whether that be in a family situation or in a relationship we will have some sort of intimacy. We will talk to our family about the things that no one else knows, we will open our heart to them. When we go into a relationship there will be a bigger intimacy, they will connect in more ways than one, they will be able to have sex but also talk about things that they would talk to no one else about. They have a connection and a sense on intimacy that they would have had with no one else. For us when we are dating and married it is different, it is different for us when we are dating because we are not intimate, however when we are married we are able to be more physically intimate.

When we are dating someone we will have an emotional connection with the other person, we will be into them, we will want to talk to them about things, we will want to spend time with them, we will want to listen to them, we will be sexually attracted to them, we will want to be intimate with them. Dating someone for a long time can be hard, it can be exhausting and it can also be tempting and it is something that we need to be careful about. We need to make sure that we do not get ourselves into a situation where we sin and we are tempted by the other person. When we are attracted to the other person it can be hard and we need to make sure that we wait for marriage to be physically intimate with the other person.

However when you do get married do rush into things, there will be things that you both have to learn about each other, there will be things that you need to talk about, there will be times when you are not ‘in the mood’ but you have to think about the other person and what they would like. It is important that you talk about being intimate, that you talk about how the other person is feeling and how you can be more intimate. Being intimate doesn’t mean always having sex but it means putting your heart on your sleeve and talking about things that you wouldn’t with anyone else. Being in a marriage means that not only do you talk about things, be intimate with each other but it also means being there for the other person and being willing to go through all the ups and downs with that person. At the end of the day you did promise in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, it is different from saying it to doing it.

Whether you are dating or whether you are married you need to make sure that you put boundaries in place, this may be not being on your own with your partner, this may be talking to someone about the things that you struggle with, this may be willing to take time away from dating so that you know whether it is the person you are meant to be with. Dating and being married is two different things, when your dating you need to put boundaries in place to protect yourselves from sinning. However, when you are married you need put boundaries in place to help you understand each other and your needs. We can all struggle with being married because of the ups and downs of live but when things get hard don’t give up and don’t take your partner for granted.

When we are dating and married we need to fully trust in God and we need to believe that he has given us a purpose in life. In everything we do we need to honour and obey Him in everything we do. Some days will be harder than others, we will be tempted, we will want to be intimate but it is important that we stick to Gods command and have real intimacy within marriage and not outside of it. God created marriage and sex between a man and a women and not before. Marriage and sex is a gift from God and we should be blessed that He has put this in place because then we are respected by our partners and eventually our children will have a stable and wonderful upbringing. God has a wonderful plan for us and we need to trust in Him fully.

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