You don’t know me

you dont know me

So many people think that they know me, they jump to assumptions, they think they have me sorted quickly, they think they can spend time with me and know everything about me but they don’t. No one knows everything about me and sometimes I don’t know anything about myself. There are days when I question who I am, why I am here and what purpose I have in life but I come to realise that I was put on this earth for a reason and God will look after and help me. Reading my blogs through the years you may think you know everything, from me coming down south to getting married, from my brother getting married to going on holiday, from the in-laws to special days but you have only just skimmed the surface and there is so much that you don’t know. You don’t know my emotions, you don’t know how I feel day to day, you don’t know the things I have to go through so please don’t think you do. No one knows what things I feel and what emotions I try and control throughout the day.

Some may argue and say that blogging is being open with your readers but you do need a private life as well and you need to feel secure in who you are. There is loads that I have never told you, loads that I have never told anyone. Why? It is too painful to bring from the back of my mind and I would rather move on with my life than to bring it up. It is in the past and there is no point in bringing it into the future. Those people who have needed to know have known and some people have even gone through those times with me but they still don’t know how I felt and how I feel about it now. There are my emotions, sides of my character, my thoughts that are kept to myself and are private. The truth is everyone knows very little about me.

I am guilty of thinking that I know someone so well but I really don’t. For example I think I know my parents well but I really don’t. As much as they have told me stories of their younger lives I was not around and there are 30+ years between them and me being born. Don’t get me wrong I love to hear the stories and all their adventures but I don’t know what they were feeling,  I don’t know what they are struggling with, I don’t know how they feel about each other, I don’t know a lot about them. Isn’t it crazy to think that you have known your parents for all of your life but that is about it, it is for your life and not theirs. Even their own parents don’t know everything about them and my parents don’t know everything about me.

As we get older we think we know more things and are more intelligent but we are not realistically, we still have parts that we don’t know, we still have parts when we think we know someone but we don’t, we still have days when we feel isolated. That is all because we don’t know what is happening in other peoples lives. It may be hard for you to understand this but no one really knows you either. There are thoughts you keep to yourself, there are actions that no one else sees, there are people that you talk to but it is all surface. No one knows you well and you don’t know anyone else well so it is best if you don’t jump to conclusions about other people before you can know them as much as you need and want too.

We struggle with the fact that we don’t know other people well and others don’t know us well but we can rely on One who created us, One who knows our inner most thoughts, One who is with us all the time, One who believes in us, One who understands us. God created us and knows our thoughts and actions before we do. How amazing is the fact that God know us before we were created in our mothers womb! He knew what we would look like, He knew that path in life we would have, He knew whether we would marry or stay single, He knows us better than anyone on this earth, even our spouses, and we should be thankful that no matter what He does not judge us but instead loves us.

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