You do too much

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There are a lot of people that say that you do too much and that there is too much going on in your life. I feel like I don’t do enough but I do some days, I have church things, I have my family, I have my friends, I have phone calls, I have blogging, I have medical things to deal with, I have appointments, I have issues and a lot of them, I have a lot to deal with but most people don’t think I do. There are a lot of people in my life that say I don’t do enough and that I am lazy but I really am not and it takes me a while to process things. It takes me a while to be able to see what is going to happen as I don’t deal too well with change. My brains struggles to know what is going on in my life and takes a while to get used to it all.

Many of my days I am tired and not do too much however each day is full of joy and happiness in my own little way. I am proud of myself if I get out of bed in the day, I am proud if I am able to contact someone in my family, I am proud if I am able to cook dinner for my husband, I am proud if I am able to get a drink, I am proud to be able to move from the sofa, I am proud that I can clean the flat. I know to most people they are small things but for me with EUPD and PTSD it something that I am proud of and something that I am working on. These are just small things but each thing I do I am proud of it. I am proud of the things that have happened in my life, I am proud of the things that I have come through, I am proud of the journey that I have been through, I am proud of the people that I have been able to reach out too. I am blessed beyond measure.

One of the many things I have learnt over the years is to have time for myself and for my husband. I have learnt that I do so many things in life but not everything is as simple as life makes out, some days are a lot harder than others and some days are easier than I thought. I am so grateful and blessed for everyday that I have on this earth and I am so pleased that I am able to get through each task that I do. Many people have told me that I am lazy and I don’t do much but I do and I keep trying to get better at so much more. I wish I could do more but sometimes I am not able to. I know that I am not able to do too much and I envy those people that are able to do the things that they want to do, I envy those people who are able to go out, I envy those people who are able to things at the last moment, I envy those people that can just do anything and don’t get anxiety. However, I know that I will get better.

There are so many people out there who do a lot more than I do and there are more people that do a lot less than I do. I am blessed to have the people around me that can help me and are able to support me. However, other people are busy and they do not have time for me and they have a lot of work to do. It is frustrating when they do not understand that I am not able to do a lot of things and that I am not able to do all the things I would like to do. I find it hard that I am not able to go out and do things that I want to do and to see the people that I want to see.

I know that God will protect me and God will help me to keep on going. I know that when people don’t have time He does. I know that He will keep me close to Him. I know that He will give me time to talk to Him. I know that He will give me the energy to keep going. I know that He will help me to make the right choices. I know that He will give me rest and I am so thankful.

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