Blog 203: My mental health

Over the years I have had EUPD and PTSD and it has affected me over time all day and everyday. I have heard from so many people mention that blogging has had a negative impact on their mental health and how bad it is. However I have found that blogging has helped me with my mental health and it has given me some sort of release. It has helped me to be able to keep going and to write down my thoughts and feelings while feeling that I am helping other people in their hardship and the journey that they are going through. Don’t get me wrong blogging can be hard and sometimes I just want to give up but I realise that it does help me to write my thoughts down and to actually think about how I am feeling. It helps me to get back in control of my life. It helps me to realise that I am not in control of everything no matter how much I try.

My mental health has been improving over the last two years and I am so grateful and thankful for all the people that have stuck by me and helped me to keep on going. It has not been an easy journey to be on! Two years ago I was in hospital and I was banging my head, cutting myself and not wanting to be with other people. I used to be anti-social, angry, hurt and wanting to hurt myself. I wanted to be left alone but also have people to talk to. I wanted would walk off if I didn’t like things, I would shouted and get annoyed. It was hard to reach out to other people and to be able to tell people how I was really feeling. I didn’t want to show people what I want to feel because I din’t want them to feel burdened and I didn’t want them to deal with me when they had other things to deal with in their personal life. I knew that I needed some help but I didn’t really want to get help for them because I wanted to try and deal with it myself.

However, now I know that I can reach out to other people and I am able to talk to people how I am feeling and not to get judged by it. I know that people may be busy but I do know that they do have time for me and I do know that they will help me. I know that people have their own lives but they are interested in my own. I know that people have things they have to deal with but they will help me to deal with my problems. I know that people have their own families to deal with but I do know that through Christ I am part of their family. I know that people have their own health issues to deal with but they will help me with my health and I couldn’t be more thankful.

When I began my blogging journey I didn’t know how it was going to affect my mental health but it has but in a positive way. It has helped me to be able to think about the things that I am going through and to talk about the ‘taboo’ subjects more and more. I know that over the years I will continue to get better and I know that it will also take time. I am so grateful to God for giving me the wisdom to be able to keep on going and to give me the love and support that I need. I know that through all things God will help me and accept me for who I am and for who I used to be. I know that over times I will be a better person and God will continue to help me through the things that happen in life.

I am so grateful for God giving me this life and for helping me to be able to keep going. I know that God will continue to help and bless me as I live the life that He has planned for me. No matter what is wrong with mine or your mental health God will keep me going and God will protect me from all the things that come my way. God will protect me and look after me in all areas of life and not just my mental health and I am so thankful for it!