Light in darkness

fire

Who loves the firework season? Who enjoys heading to see the fireworks? Do you love seeing the lights lit up the dark night? Do you like having the sparklers and cheering? I think at some point in our lives we have headed to the fireworks or have at least watched them out the window. I love heading out in the dark and wrapping up warm to be able to see the fireworks and having hot chocolate, no winter night will be able to beat it. I love the fireworks because all the rest of winter we are inside not feeling too good about the dark nights and short evenings but we get the fireworks out of the boxes and they seem to light up the night sky and it seems to cheer everyone up. Do you realise how much light in the darkness brightens everyone up. You could just have a candle in a dark room and it would be so much better because of that small little light that is burning.

Throughout my life I have felt like I don’t belong, like I don’t fit, like I am the black sheep, like I am on the outside, like I am just in a box, like I don’t know how I can cope, like I don’t know what really happens out in the world, like I need to do something to get out my box and to be a bit more joyful. I am so good at putting on a mask when I see people but I need to start to people that of and show people my natural light. However, the older I get I understand that not everyone will accept me and I just need to be myself and I will be the light to people in their world and if I can make someone smile every time I go out I will be happy. I know that there will be days when I will not be able to get out but I hope that through these blogs I am able to make you smile and make a difference to your day.

I often feel like I bring darkness to people I meet and it affects them and their mood but I really don’t mean this. I want to be happy and fully of light but sometimes I am down and full of darkness and bleakness. I don’t mean to do this but sometimes it is just the way that I am and the way things happen. Most of the time I try and keep going but sometimes I just can’t and sometimes I am not part of this world and God is so far away, He is almost in another universe. I get tired from being like this and the darkness and the sin of this world, with stabbings, killings, bombings, gossiping, hating, selfishness, greed and so much more. I wish that Jesus could just return now and this world would all be done with.

Many times I wondered why I am in this world and why God let me be born, I wonder why there is darkness in the world, I wonder why God made this world full of darkness, I wonder why people lie, I wonder why people kill, I wonder why children cannot stay with their parents, I wonder why people aren’t kind, I wonder why people sin but then I remember that it is not me, it is not my circumstances, it is not God but instead it is Satan. We are living in a fight between God and Satan. At this moment in time it may feel that God is loosing because the world is full of sin, hate and darkness but He is not, Satan will loose and is loosing. Satan will be defeated and God will reign victorious.

The darkness in this world is visible with the sin all around us but the fight between God and Satan, the devil, is invisible to the human eye. As we look at the fireworks we can be like that in this darkness but we can keep going longer than a small bang. God gives us the energy to keep going and to keep trusting and believing in God. He will win the fight and He will bring lightness to this dark world and He will win this fight. The light of God will restore us as much as it looks weird to the outer world, God will help us as long as we trust Him. Will you choose to live in the light?

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