Blog 155: Depression

Depression is not a good thing to have, waking up everyday not knowing how you are going to feel, having something small annoy you, being around people can cause anxiety, not wanting to go out, spending days in bed, feel ill but not ill at the same time, not wanting to do normal activities, having a feeling of having to do certain things, not wanting to see friends or family, people not understanding what your going through, being on an emotional roller coaster and so much more. There is little said about depression but I want to speak about it. It is something that needs to be explained, it is something that needs to be talked about, it is something that needs to be accepted in society no matter how other people feel about it. It is a very hard subject to talk about but the more people talk about it the more it won’t be a taboo and the more it will be accepted.

For many people mental health can be a scary word but then you hear the titles and they can be just as bad. Depression across the world is on the increase and more and more people are being diagnosed with it. It negatively affects how I feel and it make me see things with a negative spin rather than being happy about the joyful things in life I tend to concentrate on the negative. This illness can affect a lot of people and it can become a problem in everyday living both at work and in the home. This illness can be treated and it is important to be able to go to your doctor the minute you think you have it. It is important to talk to people that you trust, it is important to explain yourself to other people and not to be ashamed about what you think that you are going through.

My depression story started I don’t know when but I have always had negative thoughts towards life and would see the bad things in almost everything from when I was a small child. I would often sleep for hours at a time but that would be put down to tiredness however now looking back it was because I didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what was wrong with me so was unable to express my thoughts and feelings and instead just get into a bad mood about so many things. I used to struggle with friendships and in some ways I still do now, I would struggle with having a good attitude and getting tired easily. I struggled with feeling good about myself, I struggled with not being on my own, I struggled with not wanting to be here and it was important that I needed to talk to other people about how I was actually feeling.

I didn’t know what was going on, I thought it was just baggage from when I was a child or how everyone grew up. I didn’t know that later on in life I would be diagnosed with depression that would put a spanner in my life and change things. I didn’t know that I would have to be signed of work in order to be able to get myself back on track and be able to understand myself more. I didn’t know that it would affect my relationships, I didn’t know that it would affect how I live but it has and it is a massive learning curve for me and the people that I am around and who know me really well.

Depression is a hard mental illness and a lot of people don’t know how to deal with it and why they have it. Image if no one had it or everyone had it, everyone would be the same. We live in a sinful world and so these diseases and mental health issues will come. They will affect at least one person that we know. Over the last year or two with being diagnosed with having depression I have learnt to be thankful and to be blessed. God didn’t have to make me the way He did but He chose to and He has and will help me through it. Through this diagnosis I hope to be able to help other people going through this and hope to be an encouragement. Remember when you think that you alone God is there and you can turn to Him. He made you this way and He will help you through the journey.