This last week we should have been on honeymoon, we should have been in our hot tub, we should have had a sauna, we should have been sleeping in the same bed, we should have be together, we should have been celebrating our marriage, we should have been starting our married life together! Instead I am sitting at home with my fiance sitting next to me and we are both working, him on his school work and me on blogging. It is the sad reality of what is going on in this world right now, people have had to cancel their plans, people have had to stop seeing each other, people have had to be isolated without their loved ones and even worse some people have had to deal with their lost ones passing away.
The last few months, quite honestly have been mental, have been hard, they have been tough, they have been full of sadness, they have been full of disappointments and it has been a long few months. First we were told that my best friend and bridesmaid was unable to come over from America, then my fiances family was not able to come over and that was even harder. We felt like we were getting stabbed in the stomach, we were getting pushed down. That was a real blow and hard to come to terms with, it was at that time we realised that we would not be able to have the people who we love around us when we would be getting married. We thought we would still be able to go ahead with a legal marriage so we would be able to start our marriage before anything else happened and we would not be able to go ahead.
The final blow came when the government put us all on lock down. We were 16 hours away from signing the legal document! 16 hours from starting our married life, 16 hours from being married, 16 hours from being Mr and Mrs, 16 hours from being husband and wife! This was harder than all the other blows that we had, this was the real kick in our stomachs! We felt physically sick, we felt let down, we felt annoyed, we felt horrendous, we felt sad, we felt like we can’t even plan a wedding! Not only can’t we legally get married but we can’t have our friends around us, we can’t have our family around us and we are put in lock down and isolation. It has be harder than I thought it would be as I had all my wedding things out and I had to put them all back into storage. I don’t know when I will next get them out but what I do know is when the time comes we will celebrate in style with all of our family and friends surrounding us.
We have had ups and downs in the last few months, we have had more lows that ups but we have overcome it will help from our friends and family. We have both had to rely more on other people to help us through it. We have really learnt who, when bad things happen, stick around and who want to walk away. We have learnt that no matter what our family will be there and they will try their best not to let us down. They have encouraged us, they have cried with us, they have helped us, they have supported us, they have organised with us, they have accepted the situation, they have fed us, they have provided for us, they have kept us going when we have not been able to keep on going and have had loads of sleepless nights.
We have both been so tired and have learnt so much about each other since this situation and we are thankful that we have been able to talk and work through this. We have been through ups and downs and have had family around us to help us but they have had to live their own lives and help other people. As much as they don’t want to be they are busy but we know that God is fully in control. We know that God is fully in control and He knows what He is doing. We feel that things are not in control and we feel that not everything is going our way but God is fully in control and we have to rely on Him. We may want things to be different but in reality God has ultimate control and He fully knows what the future will hold. All we need to do is to trust in God and His plan for us.
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