Blog 108: It was meant to be today


Today was meant to be the day that we got married, that we start our life together, that we start living together, that we start our family, that we celebrate getting married, that we are together for the rest of our life. Today was meant to be the day when I was to walk down the aisle to my future husband, the day surrounded by family, the day with friends, the day before our honeymoon, the first day to the rest of my life. Today was meant to be full of joy surrounded by friends and family. Instead, I am on my sofa with my fiance, self isolating, away from family, watching TV and eating ice cream. We are away from family, away from friends, away from the church, away from my dress and away from getting married to the love of my life.

I don’t want to sit here and moan and groan about how we are not able to get married because I know people are a lot worse. I know that a lot of people have lost their lives, people are in danger, people are sick and people are on the front line and it is a lot harder for other people than us. This was not what I expected, to be sitting here in my house and not getting married. Today was meant to be the day. When we got engaged I would never have thought that I would be spending this day not going to the church. It has been hard these last few months planning for our wedding, we have had to do so many things, we have had to plan so many things, we have had to buy so many things fro our wedding not to go ahead today and it has been hard and not an easy journey to go on.

Today instead of walking down the aisle we are away from other people because of the Covid-19 virus, a virus that affects the lungs and can be fatal. It was too big of a risk to get everyone together in one hall and have the risk of infection spreading around. We wanted to bring our legal marriage forward and get married on 24th march but the government put us on lock down the night before-we were 16 hours away from signing the paper work and that was really depressing and hard to accept-so many tears were wept. We were so close to having our parents together to witness the start of our lives together. I was very strange to comprehend what had gone on and why now we were not longer able to get married. We have now been on lock down for two weeks and we have possibly another week to go but it could be more depending on the situation.

We do not know when we will be able to be legally married, when we can start living our life together, when we can start being together. It could be soon or it could be a while. However, we know that more people are in danger, more people are loosing lost ones everyday and more people are getting infected. We live in a world were the news is depressing and there is not much good on it and it can be hard. I have found this last week especially hard because I should have been planning for today, I should have been having friends around, I should have been getting my hair done, I should have been meeting up with people but instead I am inside with my fiance wondering what the future will hold for us both.

This is such a strange time that we live in and we cannot explain it but we have to take each day at a time and realise that God is in control and He knows what He is doing. He knows what is best for us, He knows what lessons we need to learn from this, He knows how we are feeling, He knows that we are on our own. When we have no one to turn to at this point we need to turn to Him as He will help us through today just as He did yesterday and He will help us tomorrow as He does today. We live in uncertain times and we live in times where life is confusing but rest assured knowing that God is fully in control, He is fully in charge and He does these things so we are able to rely on Him more. Maybe at this time you need to slow down, have time with family and take in the things that you wouldn’t normally take in.

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