21 Years Mum

silhouette of mother kissing her daughter

21 years ago my mum had her first mothers day with us and I couldn’t be happier and more blessed that I have her as my mum. Mothers Day it all about celebrating our mothers, the mother who we do not know, the mothers who have passed away but the people who we can look up to like mothers. I know that being a mum can be tiring, can be painful, can be emotionally draining, physically tiring, full of laughs, a bit of fun, nagging, getting frustrated, more tears than anything and a lot of physical changes that happen through the year. Being a Mum is hard work but being a Mum to someone who has a mental health condition can be even harder and I don’t envy my mum. Days with someone who has a mental health problem can be hard but she shows love like no other and the older I get and the more life throws at me sometimes all I want is a hug from my mum. This blog is for you mum!

I hope that I have bought my mum so much blessings, so much laughter, so much memories, so much love. I also know that I have bought my mum so much grief and so much pain and I regret that. I know it has been a hard journey and a long one. Everyone says that they have the best Mum in the world but actually I do. My mum has stood by me when things haven’t gone to plan, when I’ve been struggling, when I’ve been happy, when I’ve been angry, when I have shouted, when I have been in hospital, when I have had surgery, when I have got engaged, through all the birthdays, through the holidays, through loosing someone we love, when I haven’t wanted to be with people my mum has always been there. There have been times when we have had arguments but in all of that I have learnt that my mum has stayed where she is and I have moved, both physically and emotionally. My mum has stood by there for me with the support of my dad. She has helped me to be a better person both inside and out. Sometimes her advice has been hard to listen to but looking back I am glad that she has given it to me and powered on even when we have then had a shouting match. I know that she did it from the good of her heart and not to hurt or make me angry.

In all my life from being a small child to now being an adult my mum has supported me and given me advice. She has helped me to develop into the person that I want to be and supported me all the way. Along the way it has been hard, it has been emotional, it has been difficult but she has stood by me. She has given me the gift of life and development, she has given me the gift of love, she has given me the gift of physical things, she has given me the gift of loving myself, she has given me the gift of wanting to do better, she has helped to know that things will get better, she has helped me realise that I am able to trust her but most of all she has given me the gift of knowing Jesus and what He has done for me. She has helped me to grow to know and love His word, to have a passion for those who are lost and to help those from other countries.

Mum you have helped me to realise that whatever I feel, wherever I want to go, whatever I do you may not be there but God will be with me all the way. You have encouraged me to turn to Him when I am struggling. You have helped me to prayer when I haven’t wanted to. You have helped me to keep trusting when I’ve lost all hope. You have helped me to keep believing when I am at the end of my tether. You have helped me to keep turning to the Bible when I have wanted to give up.

Mum, you are such an amazing person and you love me even when things do go wrong, you love me when I don’t show it back, you love me when I don’t do things that I should do. Thank you for not moving when I have drifted. Thank you for being the best Mum and for the last 21 years as being my Mum. I love you so much!

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