Blog 99: I miss you


Loosing someone you love how do you cope? How do you deal with their birthday? How do you think about them on a special day? When is it you most often think about them? Is this the first year you are trying to get through without them? How long has it been that they have passed away? I had to deal with this in 2012 when I lost my grandad, he passed away when I was least expecting it and I was cut to the bone and so upset that He had passed away. This blog is dedicated to my Grandad, Grandad today would be your 89th birthday and sadly we are not able to celebrate it with you and we are devastated. I can’t believe that we are not able to celebrate this day with you- you were taken far too soon. I truly do miss you, you made me laugh, you helped me to talk, you took care of me, we went out together, we had holidays together and so much more.

Grandad, these last 8 years have not been the best and I have not be able to get over your passing and the way that you went. I am so sorry that today you are not around for us to have your birthday with you. You were so special to me, you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me love more, you made me feel special and it was so amazing and I feel so blessed to know that you were my grandad. Grandad your life was full of adventure and excitement and I was so blessed that I was able to go through some of it with you. You were the best Grandad that anyone could ever have and I am so grateful that I could know you and experience part of you life with you.

I know that through your life you wanted the best for everyone around you and even for your birthday you didn’t want anyone to be put out of their way. You made sure that everyone was in a good place and you were quite happy being the butt of everyone’s jokes and it so so adorable. I know that I would rather be celebrating your birthday with you here but I know that you are in a much better place and I know that you are with your Lord and you couldn’t be happier! Grandad happy 89th birthday and I know that you are in a much better place and with no pain, nothing wrong, no tiredness, no sickness and no tears and you are so much better.

Grandad you are so much better than anyone else made out and you were a true gentle-man. I am so blessed and grateful that you were my grandad and I didn’t want anyone else to be in that place. I am jealous because you are there and I am here, you are with Jesus and I am not, you are in a place with no more pain, you have no tears, you have no illness, you have a better body and the world down here is pretty rough. I am so sad that you won’t be at my wedding and to never get to see me married, I am so sad that you will never know my children, I am so sad that they will never know, I am so sad that you never got to know my husband, I am sad that I am not able to experience life with you, I am so sad that you went too early. I wish you were still here but know you are with you saviour and in a better place.

I know that Grandad you may have gone and I will never see you again before it is my time and I know that you are not here but I have so many amazing memories with you and I have so many things that I can look back on and be thankful for. I know that you are not with me but God is and I know that God will look after me and protect me. I know that God will look after me and He will keep me safe. I am so blessed to be able to have known you and I am so thankful for everything you did for me. I know that through life you have helped me but I also know that God will continue to help me with you not being here and He will put a good support network in place. I miss you Grandad but know I will see you again one day!

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