Blog 89: Stop Blinking


To be quite honest I don’t know how we are at the end of January already! This month has gone so quickly! I have generally felt okay but I have had my ups and downs. I have felt bad but I also have felt really good. As you will know within the last year I have moved flat, got engaged, gone on holiday, become a year older, had surgery, kept going with friends and so much more. How does life go so quickly? It seems that I just blink and everything seems to happen, children grow up, my friends are getting married, my not so little brother is getting married, my sister is engaged, children who I remember being born are ready to go to school, and so much more. I need to stop blinking!

I remember when I was young and playing in my parents backyard and just being a kid, then going to college, on my gap year and now moving out to my own flat-how the time has flown by and how quickly I have had to grow up and quickly too! I have really enjoyed the last year and feel that I have been able to grow into the person that I want to be able to grow into. I feel that I can do what I want and be able to have my own space to do things. I have really enjoyed having people around and having company. 2020 feels like a year when I am going to be doing so many things and that my life is finally fitting into place. I am finally thinking that my life has a purpose and I am happy with what is going on in it. I am happy with the friends I have, I am happy with the relationship I am in, I am happy with the church I attend. Things are going well and finally looking up.

You may think that it has gone so quickly and I feel like this too but I feel so good and I feel that I am able to do anything if I set my mind to it. I’m not saying that this last year has been easy it has been very tough but I feel that I have made progress in my day to day life and I have been able to move forward in my mental health. I am still waiting for the courses that I need to go on to start but I know that I am on the road to recovery and everything happens the way that God plans. My mental health is still not right but I know one day it will be. These next few months will be important in how the courses go and what happens but I know that with the support around me I will be able to get through it. I will be able to keep in going and before I know it, it will all be over and I will, hopefully, be a changed person-here’s hoping anyway!

I feel that 2019 went so quickly but feel like this year is going even quicker! Both my brother and I will be getting married. Last I knew we were two young kids loving playing in the mud and enjoying being children and now we are marrying the people of our dreams and starting our own family-how did that happen?! How did we suddenly grow up? My brother and I are so close in age and now we are getting married just over three months apart. I never thought that would happen! It is crazy, I blinked and my brother got taller than me, he has a flat to rent and now He is getting married and starting his own life married. I need to stop blinking, next thing I know I will be an aunt! I’m not sure whether I can handle that! In my life so many people have come and gone and so many people I have argued with but I wouldn’t have my life any other way with the people and family around me. Over the years I have learnt so many lessons about myself and other people.

Even though my life feels like it has flashed before me and people have come and gone in my life I know that God has been there beside me and He has helped me to be the person that I am able to be. God has helped me to develop and grow into the person that He wants me to be and I am so thankful that He has been on my life journey with me. I know that as I get older life will go quicker! I know that other people may not be able to keep up with it but God does and He knows what is coming up.

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