Blog 43: 7 years and counting


22nd February 2012 I lost someone very close to me, someone who I had bonded with, someone who was part of my family, someone I loved so so much. It was my Grandad and what a great gentleman he was and he really was such a gentle man too. It was a Wednesday morning he had passed away and I thought that the world had just stopped around me. I had never had someone this close pass away before and didn’t really know what I was meant to feel or how I did feel.

I had woken up early in the morning which I thought was a bit strange as I had always slept through and it was hard for me to get back to sleep again. I knew that something was up but I didn’t know what it was and just tried to turn over and sleep again. I woke up again and 8:30 to my sister’s voice in the kitchen which as even weirder because she was meant to be at work. It was then that I heard the two words that I had been dreading for 6 months previously, ‘He’s Gone!’

I knew then that my grandad had passed away and that I wouldn’t see him ever again and all I had now was the memories. We had so much fun with him and now all that would be would be in the past and something to think on and no longer to make memories. Seven years have now passed and they say with time it gets easier but it really doesn’t, if anything it gets hard to manage and harder to keep going. If was able to stand up and talk at his funeral this is what I would have said.

Grandad, No just a title but a very special one for this man, He came into my life when I four and just managed to hang on for after my birthday when I was 17. He bought so many memories to us and we had so many laughs at his expense. He would take us on holiday in the Easter to a farm in Devon and that is where I saw him really relax, unless it was with his vegetable patch at home. One day I will not forget is us have lunch on a picnic bench and we would give the dogs our yoghurt pots to lick out but they never seemed to give them back. Grandad thinking he had the best idea decided to stretch for them and proceeded to fall of the bench.

Another time in Devon we went to an adventure park and we had just done a round of bumper boats when Grandad was getting out he fell into the water. With that and not having any spare clothes for him he had to strip of and have a towel over his knees while the poor staff dried his trousers. But all was ok with Grandad because he had his trusty, no not his family, not his wife but The Telegraph and he was quiet happy to watch the world go by.

I will always remember a classic phrase whenever he was caught having a nap and that was, ‘I was just resting my eyelids’ or when the TV was on and someone would change the channel he was sit up and say ‘I was just watching that.’ He would think that but the only thing he was watching was the back of his eye lids! I think this is the main person who taught me to have afternoon naps I always say I am doing it in his memory.

One of the earliest memories I have of Grandad was meeting him for the first time when I was 4 and he was sitting on the sofa eating some dates. He really did love his food, especially apple pie and custard, apple crumble and custard, bananas and custard, anything with custard or ice cream really! One saturday he had invited us over for a BBQ and he said that he wanted to do it (even though he wasn’t so sure). He left the BBQ for longer than it should have been and to say that the sausages were uneatable that is an understatement. They were blacker than black!

Whenever we went to the beach with him and just before he had his afternoon nap we would go and get an ice cream and he would say we could have whatever one we wanted. We would always go for the same one-the Smartie pop-maybe because to get the smarties out the tube at the end would require Grandad and his pen knife. That pen knife was just as important to him as his afternoon naps, he never went anywhere without it and he was always thrilled when someone needed it.

With all the fun memories of Grandad and how much he laughed he always had time for his family but even more time for God. He would always say grace before ever meal and ended with, ‘now all the people say Amen.’ He was very active in the church with being an elder, treasurer and youth leader. No matter what the problem and happiness he always had time for his God.

Grandad as time becomes longer since I last saw him it doesn’t get easier and it doesn’t help when people say everything will be ok. Grandad I miss you so so much but I know that you are in such as better place and as your gravestone says, ‘AT HOME WITH CHRIST.’ and that is so true. I love you Grandad.

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