Over the last days, months and years I have learnt what it is like to live on my own and move from one place to another. I have learnt what it is like to have limited family. I have learnt what it is like to have few friends. I have learnt what it is like not to have money. I have learnt what it is like to be signed of work. I have learnt what it is like to have no close friends. I have learnt what it is like to have no motivation. I have learnt what it is like to feel weak. I have learnt what it is like to feel poor. I have learnt what it is like to feel down and in a dark place. I have learnt what it is like to have a labels over my head.
I know that so many people can have all these emotions just in one day let alone day after day but these are some of the things that I feel all throughout the day and they never really go away. Different things have happened in my life and so many things have changed that I am learning to deal with each and everyone of them. I am learning to live my life again and I am learning how to try and enjoy the smallest things around me. Things that I took for granted before I now have a better view of and I like the simple things in life.
I didn’t realise that the smallest things in life can be the most special. It is said, ‘good things come in small packages’ and they really do. It is so good to be able to get out of the bed in morning with air in my lungs, legs to walk on and a body to be able to function. I feel like I have achieved something when I have got out of my bed and done something. Most days though it is hard and sometimes I feel really down in the dumps and I don’t want to get out of my pyjamas let alone my bed. I know that people can find this with being tired and they may even call me lazy but it really isn’t, it is just the way that I am and the way it happens varies from day to day.
Most days I have people to talk to but I really don’t want to talk to anyone, most days people are around me but I feel that I am not around them, most days I have people that I can go to but I don’t feel that I can, most days I have people that care but I don’t feel it, most days I feel happy but I really don’t. It is sad but this is the life lesson that I have learnt. I have learnt to get on with my everyday life with or without people. I know that life can change from hour to hour and to hold onto those times when things go good.
Sometimes I don’t have people to talk to and I don’t want to talk to anyone but I know that in all things God is there for me. God loves me like no one else. God is my ultimate family. God gives me motivation when I need it. God gives me a good and healthy body to keep going. God lets the birds sing outside my window and he makes the sun shine on my worst days. He knows how I feel and how I am going to feel before I do and He knows all things that are going to happen. Life has its ups and downs but God is there for everything.