Blog 30: The odd one


How many times have you felt outside the family? How may times have plans been done and you didn’t know? How many times have people been sick and you didn’t know? Have you ever felt like you don’t know your family anymore? I wonder whether you have not been able to be in contact with your family?

Over the last few months this has happened to me and not really through any fault of my own. Things have happened in a way that people do not understand and people do not get where I am coming from. It as been a very hard few months, people have walked away, other people have come into my life, others have given me distance and some other just don’t care and talk to me. It is hard to know that some people you have been in contact and grown up with have drifted off and now won’t talk to you.

Over the last 24 years life has been easy, mediocre and down right tough. I know things I have done in the past have not helped and some things have been influenced by other people but what I do know is that there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. The light may be dim but the further on in your life and journey it will get brighter and life will become better. I have been having a regular thought over the last few months that I have been the black sheep in all sorts of ways, in my family, in the church and in my friendship group. I have been left out with so many things and with my anxiety have not been able to do as much as I have wanted to do.

Over the last few years and now recently months things have not gone the way that I have thought or wanted too and things through no reason of my own have stalled and now I am having to take time of to think about myself. I know that through all things God is in control and God knows what happens and what will happen in the future. Even though it has been a very hard few months and years God has helped me through it all. God has helped me to be wise in what I say and how I say it, He has helped me to keep going and to keep fighting.

When no one else is around I know that God is in control and I know that he will keep on giving me strength to face the everyday tasks that will come my way. Some of you reading this may have had times when you have felt that you have no one, when no one answers you call, when people ignore you, when things happen that you aren’t expecting or even when you feel like giving up. I know how you feel but more importantly God knows how you feel too and he will help you.

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