Blog 18: My journey

I have been asked so many times why a christian? Did your parents force it on you? Why don’t you live like the world? Why aren’t you like me? Hopefully today I will be able to answer some of those questions with answers and to give you more detail into my life and why I have done what I have done and why I have chosen the things that I have chosen. I am not writing this to have a go at anyone and say that this is how you do it but for you to understand me more and to be able to help you understand why I have chosen to live as a christian.

It really started when I was four years of age and I came to live down south. I was with my parents, it was a sunday and I got into my pretty dress and trotted of to church. That was to continue for the rest of my life. I never really understood why I went to church and who this man Jesus was but knew it was important that we went and that we tried to listen. I remember we went to sunday school and I had many leaders that were nice to me but some of them used to annoy me and I suppose I wasn’t the best at being good. I didn’t really understood why I was there but went along with it anyway.

It was when I was about 8 years of age that the penny dropped. I had listened to many people about this man Jesus and wondered what it had to do with me but I suddenly understood. I realised in my child like way that if I wanted to become a better person that I needed to have Jesus to live inside my heart. I knew that I loved him and thought that he was in my heart but it was at that point that I realised that I needed to welcome Him into my heart and He would be able to help me to live a better person. In my child like way I thought that this would happen straight away and that it would be over night. I was naive and as much as I wanted to change I am still on the journey now. I accepted Jesus into my heart and realised that with His help and a lot of prayer I would be able to change.

When I gave my life and heart over to Christ I was in year three and told so many people about it but soon began to believe that lies that it was pointless and because I could see no change didn’t really fully believe that it was for me and whether I should carry on. As a family we kept going to church and at that point it was the only thing that was helping me. I was becoming two-faced and very different. At home and at church and some church activities I was one person and then at school I was completly different. I never wanted the two people and two attitudes to merge together. I was living a great life but it was exhausting. I wanted to be one person and not have to change.

It was for this reason and because I believed that it was the right thing to do that I was baptised in the March of 2009. I knew then that I was making a public profession of my faith and that now I could be held accountable by people around me and others would be able to help me to be able to keep focused and to keep running the race set out for me. I knew that the Bible had told us to believe and be baptised and now that I was a Christian I felt that it was an important thing to be able to do and that people would be able to help and encourage me on my christian life.

Being a Christian has not always be easy, sometimes I have felt that I have wanted to walk away from it all together and that being a Christian is not for me but God has helped me through the tough times and he has helped me to lean on him more and more. I have had so many people around me who have helped me and who have encouraged me that it has really helped. As my life continues and carries on I know that people will come and go but God will never move, He will always be there helping anf encouraging me to keep running the race.

I would say that the hardest part of my Christian life has been having people around me that do not believe the same things, losing a family member who I looked up to and keeping away from temptations. Over the years life has been hard and life will continue to be hard but I fully trust God and all that he has planned for me. As I go on in my future life I know that God will surround me with people who love me and people who want the very best and I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me.

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