Over the past week a lot has happened and a lot has changed in and around me. I have been hurt, I have been happy, I have been sad, I have been crying, I have been joyful, I have been trusting, I have been fragile but most of all I know I have been loved. This love has not been a shallow kind of love but a deep, deep unconditional love.
Someone asked me the other day to write down those people that love me unconditionally and the first people that popped to mind were God, parents, friends and family. I suppose for everyone that would the standard. Those people have seen the best and worst in you but have still love you. These people have been around me since I was a child and most recently the last couple of years. People came to my mind but I said it more broadly.
The person then asked me to be more specific and to name the people. When I wrote the list I was stunned at the people that have been with me through thick and thin. Those people that have stood by me no matter what. Those people that have always helped me. Those people who have thought about me. Those people that have accepted me for being me. Those people who have kept me close to them. Those people have have lifted my head. Those people that have helped me to keep focused. Those people who have helped me to keep my heart turned towards God. Those people that have helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Those people who have most of all loved me unconditionally.
It was at this point that I got emotional and realised that due to different circumstances I had failed those people. I had let them and I didn’t know what to do. These people didn’t have to keep speaking to me or let me have their shoulder to cry on but they chose to. They chose to love me with a love that I didn’t understand but that they were able to show to me. They chose to keep being friends with me when they didn’t have to. They chose to keep me close to God when I felt far away. They chose to accept me for being me when I couldn’t be myself. They chose to keep loving when I didn’t know how. These are the people that I had failed but still loved me unconditionally and I am thankfully for every single one of them. There unconditional love is the best.
As I sat in the car and talked I was reminded that I have not failed anyone or anything just that other people have failed me or even better that God has such a bigger plan. It may not be now that I see it and it may not be in two years time but when I do look back I will see. Gods plans things to his timing and perfection and I don’t always have to have my life in my timing. As much as it’s hard to look and see things not going my way God has a stronger and much bigger plan. Gods love is unconditional and He will help and develop me to be the person that he wants me to be.
I don’t know what God has in store for me or why He lets certain things happen to me but what I do know is that God is the all powerful and all knowing God. He hasn’t forsaken me this far into my life and he will not forsake me ever in my life. Over the last week or two my life has taken a turn that I didn’t expect and that I didn’t think would happen. God has bought people into my life who I didn’t expect. God has taken people out of my life who aren’t good for me. God has give me people to love in a way that I didn’t think I could. God has helped me to become the person I have become. If you had asked me 5 years ago how my life would be now I wouldn’t know and that’s the same answer for the next 5 years but when I do know is that God gives me unconditional love.
If it wasn’t for this unconditional love then I don’t know where I would be today. Someone said to me the other day, ‘I look past your job, past your past, past you flaws, but to your heart and to the person that God is helping you to be. I love you no matter what happens. This is what I am here for. You have not failed but God is taking you on a different path.’ What a blessing to have that person in my life. What a blessing that God has put that person in place to love and to care. A family that God has put in place to develop, love and grow. A church family that God has put in place for me to nurture and develop. Unconditional love is a precious thing and I am so thankful to all those people who show it to me.