Blog 13: How are you?

How are you? Really how are you? No seriously I have time how are you? I can see your sad what’s wrong? I hate these questions, do people actually care? Are they being nosey? Do they want to gossip about me? I really do hate the question how are you. We have such a normal answer of ‘fine thank you, how are you?’ But so many people out there aren’t ok. They have so much going on but they are living there life trying to get through the everyday.

We’ve all seen those emojis of women going through different emotions each day and the same one for men. But for both men and women they go through different feelings and emotions everyday. Everyone can’t always say they are fine. They may have an illness, maybe be in pain, may have family living away, may have just been fired, may have financial problems and so much more but the everyday answer is that they are ok. The honest answer is that they are not but we never know this unless we are best friends or unless we sit for hours talking an quiet frankly most of the time we don’t have time. It’s almost become a polite answer to say all is ok.

Over the years I have been one to say I’m ok when I’m not but also to explode my heart to anyone who will listen whoever they are. Both of these have got me in trouble before that now I just say that I’m fine. How though can I say I’m fine when I’m not and then try and listen to other people’s problems. Isn’t that just being a hypocrite? I suppose I have learnt over the years to divert a subject of myself but onto something else. This is not healthy and not good for others. If I don’t open up to the right people then how are they meant to open up to me?

Am I ashamed to tell you about myself? No. Am I ashamed to listen to others problems? No. Do I find it hard listening to others problems? Yes. Do I feel I need to get involved in there problems? Yes. All these questions answer the fact why I am so secretive about my own problems but also avoid talking about other people’s problems too. I want people to be able to have a happy and healthy life and if there is a problem yes I’m a shoulder to cry on but I find it hard. I don’t want people that I love to go trough hardships in life but they do.

Answer the questions of how are you with a really long answer should not be embarrassing or even awkward but a relief that someone is really asking how you are. You should be able to pour out your heart to those you trust so that those you don’t you can give an answer that you are ok. The words ‘a problem shared, a problem solved’ may actually be a thing but so little of us actually us it that we really don’t know. Maybe we should start to try. Maybe if you shared one small problem or issue with someone that may help them to be more open with you.

Next time someone asks you how you are answer honestly. There is no embarrassment. The next time you ask someone how they are listen and help them through there issues. Everyone can love and learn from each other.

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